The Crisium Conflict (not to be confused with Crissum Contact)

Good evening to all folks at Planets Nu! This is Gary Garishen, bringing you an exclusive sneak peek at the Crisium Conflict. Be warned: The described images are quite intense and may cause indigestion.

My team and I accessed an inquisition room in the Grand Marshall’s office (aka Discord). We witnessed the interrogation of representatives from the Eleven races. These commanders endured Klingon agonizers, Imperial carbon freezers, Spanish donkeys, and a myriad of Privateer castration tools; in the end, we gleaned important inside information about the match.

^{Action News apologizes that several participants did not survive initial questioning and were unable to provide answers.}