ACTION NEWS: Failed Ambush In Wormhole Space

This is Planets Magazine Action News, coming to you live with a special report: The Capricorn War — Conflict in Echo Cluster!

Good evening; I’m Jim Chancellite. The top story for today is that of a failed ambush in wormhole space by Cyborg saboteurs. Ace reporter Pat Patterson is reporting. Pat?

PP: Good evening, Jim. Ladies and gentlemen, I’m coming to you live from the planet Skibro in the constellation of Drax, briefly but tellingly the site of an abortive ambush attempt against a rogue Fascist splinter group. We’re standing in the great hall of the Skibronese Magistracy, where Admiral Po’vo’kel of the Imperial Fascist Navy is about to give a statement about the strange happenings in orbit.
P’V’K: Greetings to you, ladies and gentlemen, distinguished guests, noble visitors, fellow sapient awarenesses… oh yes, and also to the members of the press. We are here to announce today that, due to the foresight of our noble brothers in the Engineering Corps, a combined Cyborg and Bird Man infiltration plan has been thwarted, and an apparent ambush has been averted. Base Commander Sli’vok will give more information on the infiltration, and then Chief Engineer Sampo will explain about the heroic work of his corps. Commander?
CS: Ehrm. Yes. Due to unforeseen circumstances, Bird Man spies successfully impersonated Imperial Fleet officers and changed the code on our starbase defense systems. The Cyborg infiltrators pretended to surrender, locked on to one of our captured Firecloud-class vessels, opened a wormhole from orbit, and then Chunneled away. Enquiries are proceeding with regard to the Bird Man spies; I’ll be assisting them in orbit immediately following this briefing. Chief Engineer?
CES: Thank you, Commander. Yes… due to routine maintenance practices, the brave engineers of our captured vessel had taken down the Chunnel interface for a video console test according to the Tony Stark “Galaga” protocol. As a result, the Cyborg infiltrators failed to lock onto our craft and instead chunneled elsewhere, in a complex wormhole maneuver we’re calling the “Zig Zag”. As we understand it, the vessel impacted another Cyborg Firecloud deep in wormhole space with predictably catastrophic results. Admiral?
P’V’K: Thank you, gentlemen. You may now proceed to your debriefing in orbit. {Sli’vok and Sampo step into a waiting shuttle, which takes off.} Any questions?
PP: Yes, Admiral; Pat Patterson, Action News. Do we know how this “Zig Zag” maneuver was performed?
P’V’K: We do, Pat Son Of Pat. It involved sequential wormholes opened using no fewer than four Cyborg Fireclouds in sequence, a coordinated attack undertaken in perfect synchronization which required extreme skill on the part of the operators.
PP: Thank you, and a followup, sir: Is it likely that this sort of attack could occur again? Are there more Bird Man spies?
P’V’K: That’s more of a question for Commander Sli’vok, who is presently being debriefed in an open airlock in the upper atmosphere. Perhaps you can interview him when he returns to the ground. Any other questions? No? Very well. Thank you all for attending. Glory to the Empire!

Thank you, Pat. And now, breaking news! This just in: There are reports of an altercation between capital ships deep in conflicted space. We’ve received word that no fewer than two major vessels were involved in what was first thought to be an accidental collision, but we’re told now may have been a deliberate attack by Privateer militants. We’ll continue reporting on this as more information comes to us.

And that’s the way it is, today, the eighteenth of Brumaire in the nineteenth year of the reign of Emperor Emork. Long may he reign! We now return you to the Senatorial Presidential Debates, already in progress.

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