ACTION NEWS: Grand Marshall Championship

The Crisium Conflict (not to be confused with Crissum Contact)

Good evening to all folks at Planets Nu! This is Gary Garishen, bringing you an exclusive sneak peek at the Crisium Conflict. Be warned: The described images are quite intense and may cause indigestion.

My team and I accessed an inquisition room in the Grand Marshall’s office (aka Discord). We witnessed the interrogation of representatives from the Eleven races. These commanders endured Klingon agonizers, Imperial carbon freezers, Spanish donkeys, and a myriad of Privateer castration tools; in the end, we gleaned important inside information about the match.

Action News apologizes that several participants did not survive initial questioning and were unable to provide answers.

Before we get to the bloody stuff, let’s set the scene. In the following tables, you can find the details on which League Teams are in the match, what race they control, who is playing and supporting, and – just for fun – from where the participants hail.

Hal9068DeathstalkerLas Vacas EnojadasSolar Federation
WakatonkaColdfire, Tom GravesUnited Federation of Planets LeagueLizard Alliance
WaspTal’ShiarEmpire of the Birds
TaylacAdmiral’s RevengeFascist Empire
NardolThe Vorlon RepublicPrivateer Bands
Dark LordMos Eisley CantinaCyborg
ManaraSocial DistancingCrystal Confederation
OberbonzeThe Black Beasts of ArghEvil Empire
LeiradiGetOnRobotic Imperium
Crytl.chcLos IntergalácticosRebel Confederation
MaberiRootLa Guerra Del FrancesMissing Colonies of Man
*This information depicts commanders controlling the race in the latter half of the game. Information is from the scoreboard and access list.
GermanyWakatonka, Oberbonze
United StatesNardol, Hal9068
SpainCrytl.Chc, Mabari, Leiradi
United KingdomDark Lord, Tom Graves
New ZealandDeathstalker
*This information is based on the flag each commander flies on their profile page.

Note: The following quotes were edited for length, readability, and intended emphasis.

Hour of Pain the First – quick Ending

Interrogator (TS): I see the pain is beginning to wear you down. Perhaps you are ready to answer our questions, yes? Accelerated Fight or Fail has every player scrambling for position and it looks like it will push out a winner very soon. Tell us your feelings about this new feature, now!

Coldfire (LIZ): AFoF started too late and accelerated too suddenly. This created a situation where the winner was the player closest to the players who dropped or died first. I appreciated the desire to finish matches quickly, but I felt a better option was to have a faster FoF counter from the start instead of an insane acceleration in the last month. Players needed more time to respond to the power vacuum created by players who made early exits.

Crytl.chc (REB): AFoF heavily influenced the results. It wasn’t a matter of “hurrying up the inevitable”, but it was more like “stopping the game just in time for one alliance to win”.

Taylac (FAS): I thought AFoF was just too fast. A few turns back, I realized I needed to act. If I did nothing, I was dead with 70 planets.

Deathstalker (FED): I thought AFoF was quite aggressive. I thought it pushed the game to end within a span of 25-30 turns.

Hour of Pain the Second – New Methods

Interrogator (TS): I can do this all day so don’t hold anything back. Tell me the secrets of using new setup features. Tell me how they affected the development of the game. Keep talking!

Coldfire (LIZ): The Planetary Production Queue was still new to me. For that reason, I regretted taking this race. The Lizard Alliance was still a fantastic race, but it was weakened by the new build system. Older tactics did not work well. It did not matter if I produced a hundred bases, because the carrier races received guaranteed builds; due to RBx codes, the quality of their builds surpassed those of a Lizard.

Taylac (FAS): I thought the new build queue had the right idea, but I really disliked how it made backwater planets essentially redundant. With the Priority Build Point Queue, you built many starbases and queued lots of useful ships; with PPQ, these out-of-the-way planets became worthless.

Interrogator (TS): Excellent. Tell me more.

Maberi (COL): The new web behaviour also shaped this game. From my point of view, the positive side to this change was how it made an alliance with Crystals difficult to coordinate. This made it easier to fight them. I saw more than one ship stuck in an allied web. I thought this created a more level playing field.

Taylac (FAS): I thought one massive impact was the change in Crystal web minefields. Coordination was so important and I imagined it was very difficult use them well. I was also annoyed that Fascists did not have Fast Beams on foreign ships.

Deathstalker (FED): Crystal webs affecting allies certainly made a big impact. Until I remembered the rule change, I was often surprised no Meteor Blockade Runners laid webs. I shuddered at the thought of the coordination complexities. Also, I saw Fascist trades deemed unworthy because Fast Beams did not apply to traded vessels.

Hour of Pain the Third – Top Notch

Interrogator (TS): All this agony is already enjoyable, I know, but let’s add a fun question. If we award three medals, who receives the prize for being the “Most Honourable”, the “Toughest Commander”, and the “Smoothest Diplomat”? Remember: dishonest answers result in more pain. Go.

Coldfire (LIZ): Most Honourable: Maberi. Toughest Commander: Crytl.chc. Smoothest Diplomat: Tom Graves

Crytl.chc (REB): Most Honourable: Nardol. Toughest Commander: Maberi. Smoothest Diplomat: no answer

Hal9068 (FED): Most Honourable: Taylac. Toughest Commander: Crytl.chc. Smoothest Diplomat: Taylac.

Taylac (FAS): Most Honourable: Maberi. Toughest Commander: Crytl.chc. Smoothest Diplomat: Deathstalker and Hal9068.

Deathstalker (FED): Most Honourable: Oberbonze. Toughest Commander: Manara. Smoothest Diplomat: no answer.

Interrogator (TS): I’m just kidding. We won’t be awarding anyone anything, except more pain. Lawl!

Hi folks! It’s Gary Garishen again. We interrupt this regularly-scheduled torment with a word from our sponsor.

Hour of Pain the Fourth – Accomplices

Interrogator (TS): I do apologize for the loss of blood. It will be returned to you at the end of the session. Now, tell me who was in league with you. Who wants to go first?

Crytl.chc (REB): My experience with “seconds” was nothing. Way before the game started, my team totally “ghosted“.

Coldfire (LIZ): Prior to the match, my League team discussed availability and interest. We found the most-experienced did not have enough time to commit to a full game, while the less-experienced feared becoming a “turtle on a post“. We agreed to share roles, found a good balance, and learned some good lessons. We found that working with an ally is one of the most critical focuses you needed in a game of this caliber.

Maberi (COL): For my team, Root kept an eye on things during holidays. Everyone else received reports, but nobody expressed interest.

Taylac (FAS): Early on, I talked a bit of strategy with my League team. I also periodically updated them. I thought it was hard for them to engage without actually doing the turns.

Deathstalker (FED): My actions as Diplomat affected Hal9068 significantly. I built relationships and relayed information in a way that influenced the actions and strategies of several players.

Hour of Pain the Fifth – Last Words

Interrogator (TS): I know there is more you aren’t telling me. Any last words? Out with it!

Coldfire (LIZ): The Crisium game turned into a well-balanced “North vs South” alliance war. There was a lot of honourable back-and-forth combat, making it close enough to keep any of the final six from becoming discouraged. It was a good match overall. Everyone had a role and played it to a level deserving respect. People enjoyed the camaraderie and laughed over miscommunications and testy situations. Thanks to friends and enemies, it was the type of game which keeps me coming back to the site to overload my “active game” list.

Taylac (FAS): Overall, I thought it was a really good game. I very much enjoyed all of it and looked forward to seeing the end results. Whatever happened, I thought everyone in this game played excellently.

Interrogator (TS): I don’t believe you! Slap. You’re hiding something. Slap. I know this. Slap. Slap. Slap. Very well! If you will not tell me the truth, we begin the next level of your attitude adjustments. Bring me the Iron Spider!

And that’s a wrap, folks! Thanks for listening! Take care, love your neighbour, and remember Planets Magazine does not endorse torture as a reliable – or humane – method of gaining intel. This is Gary Garishen for Planets Magazine Action News signing off! Over to you, Jim.

Thanks for reading. Enjoy the journey! – TS

(PS:  We checked.  "Marshall" is, in fact, a recognized alternate spelling of "Marshal" and not just someone's name.  - Editor)

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