On Double-Edged Swords

EDITORIAL

For a while now, I’ve had a personal, private theory about why it is that the Evil Empire keeps losing. After all, on the face of things they do have the single best ship in the game, a wide variety of support carriers, free fighters, a hyperspace courier, and an innate advantage that gives them complete information about the static defenses of their rivals. On paper, there’s simply no reason for them to ever lose.

Except, of course, they do. A lot. And I’ve got a theory about why — one that’s made me unpopular a time or two.

Continue reading

The Christmas Truce

You all know the story, but even if you don’t that’s OK, because I’m going to tell it again anyway.

Europe, 1914. Christmas week.

For months now, vast armies had battled across the face of the continent, each racing to outflank the other. Along the Western Front, the race had stopped for lack of room, and a continuous line of trenches ran from Switzerland to the North Sea. By Christmas, things had somewhat stabilized. Gas attacks and mass artillery barrages were still in the future, and the soldiers themselves still had great sympathy for the fellows in the trenches on the other side.

Continue reading

The Cognitium War: Troika Table

The Cognitium War is in its final turns, with players beginning to succumb to Accelerated Fight Or Fail and the final results of the game approaching certainty. Not long ago, I sat down with the three primary members of the surviving soon-to-be victorious alliance, and we spoke a bit about the game. The substance of that discussion follows.

(Editor’s Note: As always, we’ve edited this. The substance of what was said is unchanged, but some context is always, regrettably, removed for length and readability.)


Zacha, Morgens, and Fexer, welcome to the Forum. Thanks for joining me.

Continue reading

ACTION NEWS: Grand Marshall Championship

The Crisium Conflict (not to be confused with Crissum Contact)

Good evening to all folks at Planets Nu! This is Gary Garishen, bringing you an exclusive sneak peek at the Crisium Conflict. Be warned: The described images are quite intense and may cause indigestion.

My team and I accessed an inquisition room in the Grand Marshall’s office (aka Discord). We witnessed the interrogation of representatives from the Eleven races. These commanders endured Klingon agonizers, Imperial carbon freezers, Spanish donkeys, and a myriad of Privateer castration tools; in the end, we gleaned important inside information about the match.

Action News apologizes that several participants did not survive initial questioning and were unable to provide answers.

Continue reading

Trophies! Also, Our Own Coffee!

Talespin and I are thrilled to announce the arrival, here at the official Planets Magazine shipping and distribution center (otherwise known as my dining room table), of the brand new trophies for the Planets Magazine Invitational series. Take a look:

I remember when I used to have a dining room…

Just imagine winning one of these for your very own, to display next to that Nobel medal, the Pulitzer, and your eighth-grade spelling bee trophy.

Continue reading