About Gnerphk

I am The Gnerphk, writer extraordinaire, opinionated, radical, and extremely humble by nature.

Founder’s Landing, Day One, 0115.

Old House, Dust, Must, Distant Thunder

“I see; that’s fair enough. Very well; another fifty thousand added to the initial deposit, available immediately.”

Quick decision; no consulting anyone. That meant he was my principal; either that or he was a person so highly trusted it made no difference. More importantly, he wasn’t government. No bureaucrat ever forks over money without whining.

We fenced a bit more for the look of the thing, then shook hands. I took the case and went out the way I came.

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Founder’s Landing, Day One, Midnight.

Decaying Mansion, Dying Firelight

There was a light in a ground-floor study, the flicker of a fireplace. Solid construction; the floors didn’t squeak and the door opened silently. My employer didn’t look up from the papers he was studying at an old-fashioned desk; I decided not to bother him. I went over and sat in a comfortable-looking chair, trying to look like I’d been there all along. I gently cleared my throat.

The effect was all I could have hoped for. His eyes bugged as he stared at me. “H-how–?!” he gasped.

In my line of work, it’s all about making a good first impression.

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Founder’s Landing, Day Zero, 2300.

Side Streets, Distant Thunder

“Unhand her, you brutes! I’ll have you know, that is no way to treat a lady!”

I knew that accent from my Militia days — a Confederate! This was about to get political — and no place for the likes of me. Carmody was still distracted with his capture; trouble getting the cuffs on, looked like. I didn’t stick around to watch.

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Founder’s Landing, Day Zero, 2225.

Dank Alley, Stench Of Urine And Dead Cat

He could move fast for a fat man. He was halfway down the block and turning into an alley behind the place before I got up to speed. I dug in and went after him.

This was getting interesting. On the one hand, I was about to learn something that might be useful, and maybe do a cop a favor. On the other, I was gonna be really late for my appointment.

Oh, well.

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Founder’s Landing, Day Zero, 2210.

Dark side street, taste of rain in the air

“Clever how you handled that redcap, shamus. Nearly fooled me. Or are you back in the Militia now?”

Ahhh, Hell. I knew that voice — and he knew me, more’s the pity. Still, it’s like they say: The jig isn’t up until you’ve stopped dancing. I turned and looked at the man in the shadows.

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Founder’s Landing, Day Zero, 2200.

Dark Night, Not Stormy. Yet.

It was a dark night in Founder’s Landing, capital city of the Republic back in the olden days when there actually was a Republic. Now it was just another population center, the hulks of decaying and long-unused civic architecture bulking vaguely in the gloom.

At night it was always dark, here on the edge of the nebula known as the Lesser Ephebian Cloud. Only four stars near enough to be visible in the galactic murk and no moon to speak of, just a space station. Most people didn’t care, though; what with the curfew in place, no respectable Citizen would be out on the streets at this hour anyway. Not that I was all that respectable, but with my hat on I could pass — in a dim light.

Convenient, that.

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The Inside Scoop: Leagues And Championships

Last month we hinted at a followup to our exclusive first interview with Joshua. Today, we can finally announce that the rumor is true: We’ve got solid answers on some of the most pressing questions of the day.


(Much like the first Inside Scoop, the following has been condensed from a lengthy email chain. Just imagine we’re all in a comfy studio with nice cups of tea and a plate of those shortbread cookies you can only get at this time of the year, hanging out and chilling. -Editor)

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Axioms Of Ethical Diplomacy

or: Use a sharp knife.


“War is the continuation of politics by other means.”
Clausewitz

“Diplomacy is a continuation of war by other means.”
Zhou Enlai


There are as many philosophies of diplomacy in this game as there are Planets players, and it takes a wise man indeed to know which is right. In the end, no one can decide for you; you must choose your own path.

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How To Break The New Nu Queue

NOTE: PPQ is an experimental system, still in development. Joshua has mentioned that he’s not satisfied with some aspects of it and intends to make a few changes. So this should not be considered an authoritative guide, but rather a collection of logistics tactics and stratagems that anyone can read and use. That way, we’re all facing what could otherwise be an intimidating innovation on a relatively equal footing. That’s the intent, anyway. -G


Well, it’s official: We’re using the New Nu Queue in League games as well as in some private ones, and a lot of you will have run into it by now. That doesn’t mean, however, that everyone will be equally familiar with how it works and how best to take advantage.

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The Inside Scoop: 3D and Levels

As our first project here at the revived Planets Magazine, we wanted to touch base with Joshua and get a look at some of the coming events we have to look forward to at Planets Nu. He’s agreed to let us see a little bit of what he’s got in mind for the coming months.

(The following has been condensed from a rather lengthy email chain. Just, you know, kinda imagine we’re in a comfy studio with nice cups of tea and a plate of cookies, chilling. -Editor)

Hi! I’m Gnerphk and this is Talespin. (Pretend you can see him wave. He’s waving now.) We’ve tracked down the enigmatic Joshua to ask him a few questions about Planets Nu: how we’re doing, where we’re heading, and what we’re likely to see in the future.

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