Hi! Gnerphk and Talespin here, coming to you live from the Planets Magazine broadcast studio! It’s time for our annual pledge drive, people.

(I did warn you!)

GN: So here’s the thing: Unlike public television or radio, the Planets Magazine doesn’t get funded by your tax money.

TS: Did I mention I buy my own chalk for work? Teachers don’t have chalkboards anymore, but I need something to throw at the k… Oh, sorry. Please continue.

GN: As of last week, we’d received a grand total of one (1) Coffee this year. That’s not much coffee, especially split two ways.

TS: [aside] Especially when you-know-who gets to the pot first.

GN: So I suggested, half-joking, that we ought to hold a pledge drive to help cover costs. After all, coffee ain’t cheap, especially these days.

TS: Can’t even afford phones from the 2020s.

GN: …

TS: Plus, site hosting does cost something.

GN: True that. We don’t want to go back to the bad old days of pop-up ads. Well, just after we spoke, all of a sudden, out of the blue, someone bought us five coffees!

TS: *races to grab the pot first*

GN: Well, I figured, if just talking about holding a pledge drive gets us money…

TS: Here’s where logic leaves the building. *pours one cup*

GN: …then actually doing one should make the cash come to us in buckets!

TS: *pours a second cup*

GN: *somehow glares and smiles at the same time* Well. If it ever rains Amorphous Soup, you won’t catch me outside with a fork, that’s for sure. No sirree!

TS: *looks at GN, strange expression on his face* If it rains what, now?!

GN: So I set up the old phone bank, and we’re ready to take your calls. Pledge what you can, and help keep the Planets Magazine on the air!

TS: *pours the third cup into a thermos* You know most communications technicians have never seen an actual landline telephone?!?

GN: Sure, but how can you hold an ’80s pledge drive without corded phones? Our operators are standing by, so call now!

TS: Well, at least you chose the button pushers and not the rotary versions. *pauses mid pour on the fourth cup* Wait. Don’t we get donations electronically these days?

GN: Phones run on electricity.

TS: *shakes head and pours last drops of coffee into intravenous pouch* This is so stupid…

GN: We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming, already in progress. *grabs his Planets Invitational mug and looks for the fresh pot of brew* Hey, where’s our fresh Joe?

[phone rings]

TS: *picks up a receiver, wipes off some yellowish goo around the ear piece, and listens* Hey, G, this lady wants to know if we’ll accept something called a collect call?

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As always, you can make a PayPal donation to support the Planets Magazine, or click the button below to Buy Us A Coffee. It’s always a fun boost for our morale.

Any Planets Magazine readers who are interested in supporting Gnerphk’s writing can donate directly at Patreon.

And, if you want to support Talespin’s writing, donate directly to my Patreon.

Thanks for reading!