Studying at Oxford University makes you realise you should stop being a brat and have some respect for elders, tradition, and all that came before you. Suffering through blitz matches at Planets.nu makes you wish there was a commonly-agreed-upon set of guidelines which encourages players to be honourable and polite.

Forty-four colleges scattered within the city of Oxford compose what the world knows as Oxford University. Studying there is a life-altering experience. It is truly inspiring to have a twenty-ounce pint at the Eagle and Child, like J. R. R. Tolkien and C. S. Lewis, and then round the corner to Regent’s Park College to take in a history lecture. These people take seriously their education (and drinking), and it makes you consider that they might be worth emulating.

Following in the same tradition, Winchester College sits two hours south of Oxford U. and trains English youth for the future. As their motto, they embraced the old adage ‘Manners Maketh Man’, a phrase popularised in fourtheenth-century England and landed around the same time on the wall of the college. Adopting such a symbol has unifying power to make people proud of their heritage, give people hope in their country, and instill respect for tradition and each other. I would bet any money that Winchester students take the motto to heart, in class and beyond.

If model intellectuals do not inspire you, perhaps your inner gentleman can be encouraged by this scene from Kingsman: The Secret Service (Cloudy Productions et al., 2014).

The commonly accepted reality up until the last five minutes is that manners make us pursue higher things (or at least bring us together for a good sixteen-ouncer). It is my hope we can translate this motto into our blitz matches.

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Blitz Etiquette

Many persons plead a love of truth as an apology for rough manners, as if truth was never gentle and kind, but always harsh, morose, and forbidding. Surely good manners and a good conscience are no more inconsistent with each other than beauty and innocence, which are strikingly akin, and always look the better for companionship. Roughness and honesty are indeed sometimes found together in the same person, but he is a poor judge of human nature who takes ill-manners to be a guarantee of probity of character.

(Florence, H., 1860, p. 143)

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• Greet your opponent with respect. Say hello, tip your hat, and shake hands, but do not expect them to have entire conversations with you throughout the match.
• Finish your client side actions as soon as possible and hit End Turn. Everyone wants blitz matches to go quickly, so try to match your opponent’s pace. The most fun is when both players are online at the same time, zipping through turn after turn.
• Share the opportunity to run turns. Do not finish your client side actions and wait for your opponent to turn green. Always complete two turns in a row and let your opponent do the same.
• Never drop out or burn down your empire. Blitz matches are quick, and they are either extremely painful or super enjoyable. If you are losing, let your opponent wipe you out. It will not be long. They suffered through the match too, so let them have their fun. –> It is this, or we beg Nu to add a Resign button.
• If it is clear who is going to win, complete your turns at a faster pace than normal. It is quite annoying to have three to five turns take more than two weeks. –> Again, a Resign button would do wonders.
• The maps for blitz matches are often imbalanced, so recognise when you have good fortune and be humble about it.
• Do not tell your opponent why he lost. He knows, and you are just being an arrogant prat.
• Thank your opponent for the match and move on — win or lose.

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I have said this before and it is worth repeating: Respect your opponent, for without him there is no game. No one is perfect, but we can at the very least try.

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Thanks for reading. – TS

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