NOTE: This was a poll, and the results are non-binding.

The balloting for the preferred new name for the Faction Formerly Known As The Fascists has finished, and the count is proceeding even as we speak. (Once we’re done, I’ll replace this paragraph and insert the final results below. It will take a while.) has finally been completed!

THE WINNER: The Marauder Empire, by a convincing margin.

This sort of voting is confusing, and not everyone understands how it works, but the basic idea is simple enough: If you rank your choices, everyone can feel free to vote the way they like, and every vote still counts for precisely as long as the voter wants it to.

However, the count itself is complex, so I’ll go through it in detail with you now. Every step but one will remain transparent; the only exception is our discarding of invalid ballots, since to open that to the public would be to make it easier to defeat next time by would-be bad actors. And, since a secret kept by more than one person is never truly secret, the data sheets have already been discarded. Only the two sets of results have been kept: pre-cull and post-cull.

Right. After the invalid votes were removed, 93 ballots remain.

The first round totals are as follows:

• The Fascist Empire – 28
• The Fury – 12
• The Furries – 1
• The Khanate of the Golden Horde – 5
• The Glorious Horde – 6
• The Devout – 4
• The Marauders – 21
• The Pillage People – 2
• The Galactic Authority – 2
• The Corporate Hegemony – 2
• The Imperial Shogunate – 4
• The New Roman Empire – 4

We’ll deal with government types in a moment; that answer is only used for modification purposes, or to advise in case of a tie. (Note we’re already drifting from standard Ranked Choice counting. It’s as Stalin said: It’s not who votes that matters; it’s who COUNTS the votes. Which is why I’m being transparent here.)

There are two courses of action available at this point, two methods for counting from here. The first is to presume Joshua’s decision to eliminate the Fascists is set in stone; the second, to consider it optional. We’ll calculate using both and compare answers.

As I said, this will take a while.

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Government Types:

• Horde – 10
• Khanate – 10
• Shogunate – 10
• Empire – 23
• Feudality – 5
• Republic – 0
• Union – 3
• People – 1
• Theocracy – 1
• Authority – 6
• Hegemony – 8
• State – 7
• McHordeface – 2

Curiously enough, some votes did not pick a 1st choice; this happens sometimes. Our tabulation method simply changes their 2 to a 1 and moves on. Some voters didn’t participate at all in the second question; we don’t mind if they don’t.

The first removed is still Republic; no votes are reassigned because there are none there; simple enough. (Anyone who picked it as a third choice… well, it’s no longer an option.) The next to be eliminated are People and Theocracy; in this round, the order doesn’t matter, so we’ll do both at once. The People vote moves to Empire; the Theocracy vote picked nobody else and so is discarded.

Low counts remain unchanged, so we proceed to the McHordeface supporters. (Alas, they never had much of a chance, did they?) Union is next, then Feudality, then Authority, all the votes which had more than one selection going to another. At this point, however, we’re out of the low numbers, and some of these counts have actually changed, so we do a new tabulation:

• Horde – 10
• Khanate – 15
• Shogunate – 12
• Empire – 26
• Hegemony – 8
• State – 9

Hegemony is eliminated next. Fully half of these votes aren’t reassigned; none goes to State or Horde. Thus, State meets its end — and here’s where the beauty of Ranked Choice starts to show up: One of those supporting State shifts over to its 6th choice, another to its 4th, and so on. Horde, perhaps surprisingly, garners no new votes, and is eliminated in turn.

• Khanate – 22
• Shogunate – 16
• Empire – 35

Due to the similarity between supporters of Horde, Khanate, and Shogunate, many of the votes for Horde have gone to one of the other two. Shogunate is eliminated; it remains barely possible for Khanate to come out as the final winner…

BUT NO! Empire wins, 40 to 29 over Khanate!

It’s important at this point to remember that this question is an advisory one, so which came in second may yet be important in matters such as breaking ties and so on.

Back to the first question!

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Remember: We have two methods before us. The first, which negates the possibility of Fascists, is the one we’ll begin with. In this scenario, Fascist was merely present as a control, and is eliminated immediately, its votes redistributed. (Don’t forget — we’ll come back to Fascists later.) The count is now:

• The Fury – 15
• The Furries – 1
• The Khanate of the Golden Horde – 8
• The Glorious Horde – 10
• The Devout – 5
• The Marauders – 28
• The Pillage People – 5
• The Galactic Authority – 2
• The Corporate Hegemony – 3
• The Imperial Shogunate – 7
• The New Roman Empire – 5

The Furries are eliminated, and we’re all relieved to see them go. (They were fun, but they’re lovers, not fighters…) The Galactic Authority goes next (my own #1 choice, alas, but vox populi, vox canis…) and, though the Corporate Hegemony moved up by one, that’s not enough to save it. Interestingly, the Romans just picked up all four of those votes, saving them (for the moment). The Devout -barely- wins the tiebreaker (not that it matters much at this point, but there is one), so The Pillage People go next… immediately followed by The Devout. The count now stands at:

• The Fury – 16
• The Khanate of the Golden Horde – 8
• The Glorious Horde – 12
• The Marauders – 32
• The Imperial Shogunate – 7
• The New Roman Empire – 9

Marauders are very much in the lead, but they haven’t won yet. The Imperial Shogunate goes away next. The Khanate picked up a vote, but loses the tiebreaker to the Romans…. who pick up no votes and are the next to be eliminated. It’s interesting to note that the Fury have now dropped into third place behind the Glorious Horde, which demonstrates the strength of Ranked Choice voting when there are similar candidates. The count is now:

• The Fury – 17
• The Glorious Horde – 24
• The Marauders – 39

There exists a bare chance that The Glorious Horde will pull out a win at this stage. CNN has called it in favor of The Marauders, but the A.P. is waiting on final results, which should be coming in any moment now… and we have… The Marauders, in a convincing win of 45-29!

“The Marauder Empire” is a likely name, but it should be remembered that the second question’s results were advisory, and “The Marauder Khanate” is still a possibility. We should leave Joshua with a semblance of choice, after all.

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Now, let us consider the results if The Fascist Empire were a possibility.

• The Fascist Empire – 28
• The Fury – 12
• The Furries – 1
• The Khanate of the Golden Horde – 5
• The Glorious Horde – 6
• The Devout – 4
• The Marauders – 21
• The Pillage People – 2
• The Galactic Authority – 2
• The Corporate Hegemony – 2
• The Imperial Shogunate – 4
• The New Roman Empire – 4

The Furries again go first, and then the tiebreaker eliminates The Pillage People. The Galactic Authority is immediately behind, followed by the Corporate Hegemony. As before, the Romans have advanced out of immediate danger, but the Imperial Shogunate loses this tiebreaker with The Devout… which, doesn’t save them. The Khanate falls next, followed by the Romans.

The NeverFascists are holding strong thus far; the new totals are:

• The Fascist Empire – 30
• The Fury – 12
• The Glorious Horde – 17
• The Marauders – 27

As we wave goodbye to The Fury, it could still be anyone’s race… but no, the hopes of the Glorious Horde are smashed. Two things we’ve demonstrated clearly: “The Fury” is unpopular no matter how we count, and there’s almost no crossover between “Fury” and “Horde” fans.

And the final results:

The Marauders win, 42 to 35, over The Fascists!

Convincing results, folks, in a poll that was, unfortunately, marred by bad actors attempting to stuff ballot boxes and conspiracy theorists spreading misinformation. But the end result: Good guys win; bad guys lose, and as always, Planets Prevails! q’PLA!!!

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